I should be happy where I am in my life. In my early twenties I set the goal of making six figures by the time I turned 35. I put so much hard work and time into my life and professionally deduced myself to my career, working tirelessly to prove my abilities and value. And now I am in a great place with my own assistant and I'm starting to reevaluate my goal. I'm not happy.
There must be something wrong with me. I have it all. Great job. Good friends. Small but decent apartment. But is that really having it all? At the end of the day after working 10 hours I come home and feel like I have nothing. Los Angeles living is a thankless uphill battle. My rent for 380 square feet is more than most mortgages for three bedroom homes in other places. I work so much I never see my friends and when I do I'm too exhausted to do much more than dinner or coffee or the occasional hike if I'm lucky.
It's like I woke up this year and realized that true happiness is far more important than money or status or even job responsibility. I don't need the high paying career. I missed out on having a family because of it. I don't need the staff and don't need to own a business. I need a life full of love and value that ultimately when I face my final days I can say with complete honesty I am proud of.
I want a life with time to enjoy the beautiful simplicities around me, with moments where I can stop and appreciate things with the appropriate amount of time they deserve. I want a family and friends I see with regularity. I want a modest home filled with more love than things. I want a life that isn't based on a job that consumes me with debilitating anxiety and unrelenting pressures and little support.
I choose a life with love. My new goal is to live more in the present. To find a balanced life that isn't just about job or money. To build a family and uphold better values. To be truly happy.
The something that was wrong with me was my goal. It's time to chase a new dream.
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