Forever Friends

It has to be said – I have some really great friends, especially the friendships I have cultivated over the past few years. Knowing Father’s Day was especially difficult for me, I had a few friends reach out with words of encouragement and understanding and made me feel so loved. I am a lucky girl. It showed me that while I am saddened by the fact that my father is not in my life, I am loved by others so much and that family is whatever you decide it should be; friends or otherwise.

Speaking of friendship, my father had over 400 people attend his funeral. They were all close friends. Some were friends from elementary school, others from his time at USC. Even the FedEx delivery man was there to share his condolences as he and my father bonded over lengthy conversations about college basketball. 

I have not maintained my friendships in the same fashion. My life has been filled with so many different types of friends from many different places. Quite a few friendships have dissipated over the years, especially those from childhood. There are a couple of people who I was once close with who have over embedded themselves in my social network. These people are in my life out of ceremony and obligation. 

Because of this I have spent the past several months trying to reconnect with friendships lost over time. It has been like meeting strangers for the first time, getting to know them for the adult they have become and likewise them getting to know me. While there are a few people who I will continue to spend time with, there are many others who were great friends during one point in my life, but are on completely different paths today. Some people have not progressed and are in the same place they were when we were last friends ten years ago. Some people are so different there is absolutely no common ground. 

Finding people to build lasting, quality friendships with is not easy. Trust is something I struggle with as I have had too many people burn me in my past. There are very few friends in my life that I let see every aspect of my personality, the good the bad and the ugly. Expectations are another issue. I have very high expectations for friends in terms of flakiness and being truthful, caring people. I put 100% effort into my friendships, am a firm believer in loyalty, and have zero tolerance for drama. I have had enough drama in my life to know that nothing good comes from a jealous, fair-weather friendship. 

As a result of everything that has happened with various friendships over the years I have to fight against becoming jaded and thinking everyone will disappear in the end or wrong me in some way. All I can do is focus on being a better friend, better listener and better confidant to the people I care about in my life and in return hope they do the same for me.

I know now, especially after yesterday, that I have met some truly amazing people that I hope to keep in my life for the long haul.