Facebook Status is Really a Status?

I have been thinking a lot lately about posting and checking in on Facebook - why I do it, why I share the things I do, why I think people care, etc. I have this ridiculous need to "check in" where ever I go, like the gym for instance. No one really gives a shit whether I'm working out at the Playa Vista LA Fitness or not! No one is sitting by the computer waiting with anticipation to see where I will go next. I'm just not that interesting!

So why do I do it? Cause I wish people were that interested? Maybe so. Because I'm proud of myself? Possibly. 

Last night my status post was a laundry list of the shit I had to accomplish today. It was a method of holding myself accountable. It's that whole concept of I said it so now I have to do it. And you know what? It worked! I got my ass up early and did school work, went to Ikea, went to Robbins Bros., am at the gym now and am getting my nails done at 4. I'm making it happen. Productivity was a result of Facebook!

I can also admit that I do want people to see that I'm out there doing stuff. I want people to know I've got a life full of action. It's very self-serving and I'm not proud of it, but it's a fact. Maybe people will be in the same place at the same time and we would run into one another? That's a possibility too. Maybe I just can't help myself, like a compulsion to check in and tell the Facebook world "hey, see me?! I'm cool!" Who the fuck knows.

I also see how Facebook is a trap leading to drama and unhappiness. I recently became friends with this girl. For anonymity sake I won't say any more. A few months ago I started getting to know this gal and thought we hit it off. We both went through similar loss of a parent, both have similar family dynamics. I thought she was genuine but have come to realize she is not. She has never asked me what is going on in my life. She's never taken interest or shown concern about anything but her own drama. 

I'm completely over these types of people. But opening myself up to people who let me down and turn out to be like that takes me back a few steps and makes me want to close myself off from new friendships. 

How does this relate to Facebook? I saw her on Facebook posting the usual lofty bullshit from some self motivating inspirational page, stuff that she wishes she really lived by at her core.

I really don't want this blog to come across like a bitchfest forum to complain about "stupid birches" or life's minor frustrations. I am learning life as I go working on being healthier and every so often it's hard to push past some obstacles. 

I'm pushing myself pretty hard on the elliptical right now trying to sweat it out and trying to think about positivity. Looking beyond all this petty crap I must remember that I'm lucky to have the basic freedoms to make friends, go to the gym, work where I want to work, love whoever I want to love. My biological grandfather is being honored tomorrow for being a survivor of the Holocaust. His story was one of a few featured in the Jewish Journal and he is receiving an award tomorrow. He didn't have these basic freedoms. He lost his entire biological family to the Holocaust and fought for a better life and for his family. 

I am lucky to be here today. Facebook, check ins, petty people, drama are all tiny specks of dust in comparison to the enormity of love, healthy living, family and real life.