Who Will Get Me?

I started school this week and already it's a ton of reading. Hopefully I can find a rhythm and some steady study habits and get through the next few years painlessly. I am really looking forward to the process and to getting a degree to back up what I know I can do. 

Besides school things have been pretty much status quo. I feel like I'm really growing and changing, hopefully for the better, and hopefully so are the people around me. I am really worried that I will have changed so much I will no longer have things in common with the ones I care about. 

Just a few years ago I was partying and being a typical wild and reckless late twenty something. My friends all fit into that mix; the girl I called my best friend was never without a rum and coke in hand and was a shit talker, shot caller, party girl. I was at a dead end, abusive job that I didn't care about. I gave up on anything resembling work ethic and drank with my boss at work. Did I mention we worked with special needs kids? Well, I didn't directly work with then thank god. 

I decided one day after many shitty, emotional drunk nights full of fighting and crying that I should examine my life. I started applying for jobs and found hope again. I miraculously got the wonderful job I have now and in the transition found my confidence. I found my intelligence. I found my self worth. 

Needless to say I phased my friend out of my life to acquaintance status. After I cleaned up I realized she was still the same. Same complaints. Same lack of real motivation. Same lofty goals that lacked reality. I had changed and grown and outgrew my friends. 

I had a friend who had one goal - be a mom. I have many goals - have a good career and work hard, eventually get a BA and an MBA, travel, etc. and as I started changing I too outgrew her! 

I have since made a new group of career minded, educated, caring and dedicate friends that work hard and most importantly put as much effort into our friendship as I do. I look up to them vas respect them. 

I don't want to be distanced from them because I have to commit myself up studying. I don't want them to move away. I am sick of having to start over and have such a hard time letting people in. I'm very protective of my friendships. 

In the end I keep telling myself that I need just focus on me and things will fall into place. But who will get me?