30 Year Old Neck

Have you ever caught a glimpse of yourself in a mirror and noticed how much you've aged? Looking in the mirror to adjust my skirt before exiting the bathroom at work today I saw my age for the first time. I saw a 30 year old neck.

I found some old pictures on Facebook the other night and am like a completely different person now. Besides the obvious weight difference, my face and features are dramatically different now. I have experience and situations that have changed my physical appearance. Life sped up and all of a sudden I'm a woman! What the f?!? 

I looked at the curve of my neck following it to where it meets my chin and up to the rings of sleep deprecation around my eyes. Laugh lines and curiosity cracks define the map of my past journey telling a story. 

I wasn't upset that I look my age, just unaware of how it happened seemingly over night. I am proud of the years I've had, good, bad and frightening. I am proud of myself.

I am feeling pretty introspective these days and am enjoying building friendships that matter and following my heart. I am trying something completely new - taking scary situations and pressure head on. I'm making myself shed my comfort blanket and be a new, daring me. It's scary but I'm really trying. 

I read this story for class the other day about expectations that employees have when an employee starts in a higher, more demanding position and the expectations the employee has for to responsibility of the position and supervisor. The story went through a situation of miscommunication of expectations and it turned out both management and employee were on a different page with different beliefs. 

The biggest problem the employee faced was his own stubbornness to seek guidance and discuss expectations with his manager openly. I am at fault of this. I'm afraid to come across as anything less than perfect and realize that is the wrong way to do things. 

I am enjoying the learning process that is my life and all that comes with it. I see peers who somehow have it all and while naturally I feel a tinge of jealousy, I feel pride that I am working my ass of for every single thing that I have.

I challenge you with this... Go out and compliment yourself three times. Three different things that you take pride in about yourself. Focus on each for a minute and believe it. I mean really believe it. Then put a smile on your face and conquer the world. Hit the pavement with your 30 year old neck!