What's It Going To Take?

I think I'm more excited that today is Saturday than yesterday's Valentines Day holiday. I am so happy to have a few days off even if it's full of homework and chores. At least it's my time and it's stress free.

Last week was chalked full of negative every and bad vibes and it really got to me. My only recourse  was to shut up and quietly plug away to get through my days. I hate weeks like that because I generally love being at work and enjoy what I do. But weeks full of bad attitudes and people rushing around with a sense of secretive urgency really start to wear you down. 

I got up this morning slowly after finally sleeping in and thought about how it's almost been 1 year since I turned 30 and since I made the choice to be completely sober. It's amazing how quickly time has passed and just how much has gone on during that time. Being back in school is bringing up reminiscent memories of the first try at college and the fun times with my crazy friends in my early 20's. I miss the parties and being completely uninhibited, the laughter and that larger than life feeling. 

I've spent the year struggling to find my place. It's been a very difficult year with a lot of change. I am finally feeling comfortable in my own skin like I am a new me that I am okay with. I don't worry about being out at a bar as much and am okay saying no to a drink without feeling fearful. Sure I miss it and have a feeling I always will, but I'm okay with that as long as I get support where I need it. 

As my birthday approaches in a few months I can't help but feel restless and refuse to let any more unproductive time pass me by. I'm not wasting a second. I have a lot of emotion in my little body and I'm going to start showing it, in a good way. 

How many of you feel like you want to change something about yourself but don't have a clue where to start? Or you just don't try because it seems like too much of an uphill battle? 

The best place to start is anywhere. If your goal is losing weight, just start making better choices with food and exercise. It is so easy to accept the status quo and just exist, but I ask you this... Is just existing really living? I sure don't think so.

Life isn't a cake walk for me right now. Our business is struggling a bit, my mom is still trying to recover from a major injury, my grandma is dying, two of Toms uncles have incurable cancer, marriage isn't always easy, etc. But that is life; there will always be things to work on or have to fight through. I am not letting it stop me!

Are you?