I know I tend to cycle from Mrs. positive, super charged go getter, hyper puppy mode to sarcastic, subdued and even a bit withdrawn, but this time I know it's not me. I feel it. I can't explain exactly what it is, I just feel uneasiness; things are off.
I feel it within my own relationships with friends, acquaintances and coworkers. It's as if overnight something happened that altered the dynamics of communication; that put an odd silence in the middle; a heavy seriousness.
It may be intuition or just coincidence, but I know it is something and I don't like feeling like this. I understand we all go through our own emotional shifts and completely respect that process for everyone. I just find it hard not to take things personally even though I try.
I know I'm basically whining like a little baby because things aren't "fun" right now and because my world just seems off and I don't like it...but dammit I don't like it!
I think what really bothers me about it all is not having reason or explanation for the sudden shift in personalities. It just happened abruptly. Did I do something wrong? Have I offended people?
I am no more special than the next person and am not owed an explanation just because I want one. This is one of the hard parts about being a grown up. I can handle responsibility any day. Throw expectations my way and I've got it covered. But not knowing the reason for something being a certain way or feeling disconnected and not sure why is another story.
I wish people would just acknowledge the shift and vocalize when they need space or use their words to express their feelings of disconnect in a constructive way. I'm a big girl for the most part and can handle it. Sure I may not like what I hear and likewise you might not either, but it's better than pretending nothing is wrong.
At least it is Friday. A weekend does everyone good and I can only stay positive that the universe will sleep off the cosmic shift and energy will be restored to normal in the new week to come.
