I went back to working out at a fitness class I used to
participate in on a regular basis. I had not been to this class in three months
as a result of moving to a new apartment, a hectic work and school schedule,
and social distractions. I had been going to my regular gym to run on the
treadmill, but was not putting much effort into working out and pushing myself
as well as eating healthy. I knew it was time to step it up again and get back
to the fitness routine I once loved and was dedicated to, however I found it challenging
to get motivated after working long hours.
That all changed yesterday. Following a conversation with
someone on Monday that included some harsh honesty, I was devastated. It is
really hard to receive feedback about a personal shortcoming, especially
physical appearance. I was really hurt and felt emotionally bruised. I felt
ugly and my confidence was broken. All I could think about is how disgusting I
must be physically and how everyone is walking around looking at me, thinking
that I am just the most unattractive person they’ve laid eyes on. I realize
that this is completely extreme, but when confidence is shaken up like that it
is hard to reel yourself in and put it in perspective.
We are all people that have feelings and different sore
subjects that we do not like to talk about. Constructive criticism, judgment,
feedback, rejection is all hard to stomach. It’s never easy to tell someone
something they do not want to hear. I think it is important to pay attention to
delivery of that message and keep mindfulness in terms of sensitivity when
having these types of conversations.
I decided to do something I do not typically like to do. I
posted on Facebook a status that read, “Going back to Cardio Barre after a
significant amount of time away. Sometimes it takes someones hurtful honesty
to wake you up and get you back on track. #notgonnastopme.” I didn’t
necessarily want an outpouring of support from my friends and acquaintances,
but I did want to know what people thought and wanted to be open about what I
was struggling with. The responses really overwhelmed me. Not one person had
any negative criticism. In fact, it was quite the opposite. I received a flood
of comments from friends reminding me of my beauty and my potential. I received
encouragement and even got texts outside of social media from friends reassuring
me that it was an issue with someone else, and not with me.
Out of a really crappy situation came a beautiful reminder
of how lucky I am to have such amazing friends and how beauty is not just skin
deep. I guess the world isn’t looking at me thinking I’m a hideous troll. Not
everyone sees the same thing that one person saw. And then it all became clear…
it’s ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE!
How one person sees someone is not necessarily how everyone
else views them. Just because one person tells you that your hair color is not
attractive doesn’t mean that it really is. It just means that to that specific
individual they would prefer to see something else. Another valuable lesson out
of all this is that you should never change for anyone else based on what
feedback they give you about their own personal preference or perspective. Wear
the clothes that make you happy. Dye your hair whatever color suits your style.
Tattoo your body if you feel so inclined and it defines your personality and
lifestyle. The only standard that everyone should live by is always be true to
yourself. I have a permanent reminder on my wrist that “to thine own self be
true,” yet it is something I forget the most.
I was initially motivated by a harsh comment to get my ass
back to a regimented exercise routine and a healthier lifestyle; however that
was merely the spark that ignited the flame. I am driven and motivated for me.
I want to be happy and healthy for me. For my family, good friends, for those I
love and for those who love me back. Life is way too short to waste time focusing on the comments
and critiques. I am thankful for everything in my life even more so today than yesterday.
Feeling very loved.
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