Part One - She Was The Road

She knew there was going to be a long stretch of road ahead of her, but it did not matter. The cold air blew through her hair, knotting strands together as she passed by one mile marker after another. The open road was slick from the overnight rain. The lines dividing her lane from that of opposing traffic were blurry and had lost their reflectiveness over time and wear. Her chest was tight and sweat slowly dripped from her brow as she watched her hometown get smaller and smaller in her rear view mirror until it was practically nonexistent. She was really doing it. The nervousness was excitement and anticipation.

For as long as she can remember she had wanted to get all of her belongings in order and disappear onto the road in the middle of the night, heading to a new city with interesting strangers to get to know. She had desired a fresh start in a place where she was able to reinvent the woman she had become and grow to really find herself. She had hoped that within this new destination she would find her heart and her true passion. Her heart is something that had gotten so small over the past ten years. It had been reduced to preservation and a daily routine, but had been so long since it beat strongly with purpose.

Her mind was sharp as a tack despite the fact that it was three o’clock in the morning. She had made sure to leave before the sun and before anyone she knew would realize she had disappeared. She hated formal goodbyes and knew that there were people in her life that would try to stop her at any expense. No one seemed to understand that this was something she had to do for herself and that for the first time in her life she was choosing to be selfish.

As the sky started to lighten and the day started to form she realized the quiet was so great. She realized that it was just her, a full tank of gas, a cold car and the seemingly endless horizon ahead of her. Every breath in filled her lungs with new purpose and excitement at the thought of all the newness to her life. It was the idea of starting over, bringing minimal belongings that were just enough to get by, and not knowing anyone that put a smile on her face. She had stripped her life down to only the bare essentials to survive after several tragic events that left her feeling helpless and lacking. It was the sequence of these events, one following another, that spurred her feelings of desire for change and personal reinvention. 

The sun started to peak through the clouds over the hills far off in the distance. Rolling down the windows, she turned on the classic rock station with a smile on her face. It had been so long since she smiled genuinely. She realized it was more than just driving this morning. She realized that she herself was the open road, miles of experience and wear behind her fading into the distance and uncharted territory waiting for her up ahead. She was the fresh, cold morning air sharp and biting at times, but refreshing. She was the sunrise peeking through the clouds, with her newly discovered positivity. She was so alive and free.