Happy Happy Happy

Last night was a great night. My friends came out to feast on a delicious meal and celebrate the fact that my 30 year old ass is going back to college. 

I spent my twenties drinking heavily with the Tom and his guy friends at a handful of run down sports bars and Irish pubs. I was one of the dudes and a sloppy drunk. While those days were a blast and I carry fond memories with me to this day, I lost out on having girl friends and going out to nicer places for fancier cocktails, delicious meals and stimulating conversation. I spent so much time with the guys plastered and spouting off dick and fart jokes that I lacked a female bond and womanly camaraderie and am only building it now. 

I've always wanted female friends who were intellectual yet fun, witty and creative, sarcastic and emotional. I finally found my people and I truly admire each and every one of then for their uniqueness and spirit. I have friends in my life I can learn a lot from and who serve as a supportive, positive role in my life. 

I'll let you in on a little secret of mine, which may not be they surprising to you... I have a hard time socializing on occasion and try hard to not let the struggle show. I feel emotionally challenged when it comes to connecting to people and often times I stay in my house as a way of avoiding the effort it takes to block out my negative internal voice telling me all the reasons why going out is a terrible plan. These friends I have made take that voice away.

I feel so comfortable being completely sober and 100% myself when I'm out with them. I know they will never judge me maliciously. And I know most importantly that they really care about me. 

Where have you been all my life guys?!? I woke up today thinking I am a lucky girl. Even if I have a shitty week or a streak where I'm down on my luck, I know it will all be okay as long as I have my friends in my life.

I can't wait to go into this week with a refreshed, positive vibe. It's thanksgiving week and I've got a shitload of fortune to be thankful for. I'm looking past the pettiness of a coworker who makes a point to passive aggressively tell me in a not so subtle way that I am less than. I'm looking past petty squabbles and immature drama. I'm ignoring the constant complaining. I'm looking forward to my boss's return and the return of some normalcy. I'm looking forward to the future of my academic career and making more memories with my friends. 

Here's to a leisurely Saturday with beautiful weather and nothing but possibility and promise in the future.