I started these cardio barre workout classes and am loving the difficulty and the challenge. I want it to be hard and make me sweat. (That's what she said) I want to feel the pain that it takes to change my body and look good. I want to remember how hard I worked so I keep the weight off.
Today I actually made it to cardio barre in the morning and the gym right now. I'm fucking doing it! Not only do I want to lose some excess poundage that I'm caring on my mid section, but I want to find my confidence again. I am starting to recognize I am actually a pretty girl, I just have to refine what I've got. I have to fight a little bit of aging and tighten up my skin and shed a few lbs! Who doesn't though?
Getting older has actually bothered me more than I expected. I am really seeing the difference between my twenties and my thirties and am taking a stand against the clock. I'm going to start making a difference now while I can.
Getting in to college a second time has really shown me that I can do anything I desire. If I want it I will find a way to get it. So watch out! My education is important to me and something I feel will be the other major component to my complete confidence. Losing weight is the otter. Once I have those down I will be unstoppable. Maybe that's a bit dramatic... More like completely happy.
Someone told me the other day that true intelligence is being able to adapt and that they thought of me and that I fit that mindset. I adapt with whatever I am given and am intelligent. It meant so much to me, to be thought of unprompted and that I am thought of in high regard. That I am seen as a smart individual. I work so hard on myself and improving my shortcomings and it fills my heart with such happiness to know I'm recognized and regarded with such value.
Just the fact that I'm here running on the elliptical after an hour long high intensity cardio workout says I won't give up; I've had enough with the way things are and I want to make a change. I feel like there is a sexy, confident woman trapped cheesy a layer of fat and insecurity. I want to let her out so badly. I want to stand in front of a group of people without my arms crossed uncomfortably, with my head held high knowing I look good and am qualified to be there.
I am lucky to have encouraging and inspirational people around me. I am very happy and can't wait to take this and every challenge in my path head on.
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