It's All Just A Bad Dream

Alas this week is finally over. Man, it’s been long and slow going. I wrote this on my lunch break today in response to my night of terrible dreams and the previous day’s emotional meltdown:

I barely slept last night due to a slew of terrible dreams. I won’t call them nightmares because I did not encounter Freddy Krueger or anyone chasing me down with a chainsaw. There was no massacre. My first dream consisted of me getting fired when returning to work from a long weekend. I showed up to work, opened my office door, and was greeted by my replacement sitting in my chair doing my work. No notice, no consolation, just replaced. No one would make eye contact with me as I did the walk of shame down the hallway to the parking lot to leave. I woke up in a cold sweat. It was 12:40 am.

The second dream was of me approaching apartments in an unfamiliar area with a resemblance to Jamaica Plains, NY. I was a pseudo census taker, door knocking and mouthing off some random jargon. One door I approached had a giant pit bull at the top of the stairs just inside the doorway staring me down thinking I looked like a healthy piece of friend chicken. I slowly started backing away when the dog rushed me, lunged at my leg, took a giant bite and ripped off my calf muscle. I laid on the concrete screaming for help, bleeding to death. No one came.

The third and final dream of the night was of me wandering. Out of all of them this may be the most disheartening. I do not know where I was walking; I didn’t recognize any of the buildings around me. It was a lonely street, windy and crisp outside. I was all alone and no one else was on the street. I had a feeling of heartbreak and a pit in my stomach. I did not know why and never did find out the answer to that question. I just wandered aimlessly with the cold air whipping leaves into my face as they fell rfom the trees that lined the street. There seemed to be no end to the street in sight; it just kept going and going. And so I walked… I walked until my alarm woke me up and I carried with me that feeling of hopeless heartache all day. I am not sure what it comes from and really wish it would go away.

The only saving grace is that tonight my super awesome friends are taking me out to dinner to celebrate the fact that my old ass is going back to college. They planned a dinner to celebrate. Very sweet. For that I am truly happy and know I have a good group of friends in my corner. Makes the heartache subside a bit.

Stay Classy.