On Being There

Sometimes the best help you can give someone is just being there. Sometimes it's just sitting still and being a positive presence that does the trick. Other times being a second opinion is the best thing. 

We all need help in different ways, and actually it depends on the situatuon. Occasionally I need someone to play the devils advocate; most of the time I need someone to listen while I talk something out. I really need someone to hold me accountable when I start slipping up. 

Today was a good day despite the tension and bizarre energy floating around. I realized today that it's not actually valuable to put your focus on making sure things go right at all times. There will ALWAYS be something that gets messed up or some setback. That is inevitable. The important things is focusing on how you handle the bumps in the road. Find a buddy and take a breather when you feel like you're drowning. Close your eyes and picture life beyond the chaos. Write a snappy email and delete it. 

I absolutely love what I do because of who I work with. I love the variance in projects and the constant stability that exists at the same time. But even loving my job as much as I do there will always be a day every now and then where nothing works out or work seems to pile up faster than I can produce. 

I know today that me just being there helped make someone's day better. I know I have an ally and a mentor. I know that I am needed as much as I need the camaraderie. 

I looked for my place for so long and never found a home. I am certain I have found that home. I am comfortable; happy; relieved; bonded. I am fucking appreciative! 

Everything in my life for the most part seems to be on the up and up and going so well right now... I'm sure I have disrupted the cosmic gods and have jinxed myself, but it has to be said. Hallelujah!! Happy happy happy! 

If my dad is out there guiding me I know he has a hand in all this. I feel him with his hand in my shoulders, pushing me into the right choices and deterring me from bad decisions. I know he has driven me to the right people and situations and has given me the strength to be brave. 

I have this walk for Alzheimer's coming up next weekend and I'm doing it alone. I was supposed to be doing it with my work but it fell through. But I'm not giving up and backing down from it. I committed to doing this for those who can't. One of my fears of aging is not being able to remember my father and his guidance; my loves and triumphs, my successes and failures, my past that makes me who I am. I want to always remember my work and will walk to honor that. 

Happiness is relative and something that should be treasured. I go into this weekend with an ear to ear smile, feeling full and knowing I have done well.