Sweet Success

It's been a little while since my last post. Things have been very busy professionally and personally. I've also received some critique about recent posts. I think I need to post a disclaimer - if I write about you or a situation you are in, I will mask your identity. Please understand I am not writing about you to complain. It's not a bitchfest. I'm not writing to stir up drama. I'm writing as a factual explanation of what I'm facing in my life that may help someone else going through a similar experience.

With that being said, I want to share a great success I had this Saturday. I coordinated an event for the company I work for on a yacht in the marina. I spent the past 3 months working on the event - conception of the theme, creation of the invitations, research and creation of centerpieces, giveaways, awards, etc. I had a small amount of help from a Bo-worker, but handled the bulk of the planning. 

Don't get me wrong - I'm definitely not complaining - I like the control over the planning and enjoy the process. I take great satisfaction in seeing happy, smiling faces enjoying an event I created. 

I got to the event a few hours early and set it all up - put out all the decorations, guided the crew on seating and bar setup, ran through the schedule with the event lead. By the time my coworker arrived I had everything up and ready for the guests to arrive. I worked like a machine. That was an accomplishment in and of itself, but there was something even better. 

The event went on without a hitch; everyone had a blast and people were very appreciative of the hard work. At one point in the evening I went out to the front of the yacht to take in a quiet moment. I looked in at the guests mixing and mingling and heard laughter and happy chatter fill the air. It was a sweet success. Still not the best part of the night. 

My own personal success was the fact that for the first time I was comfortable in my own skin. I felt confident, efficient, even sexy. I was happy and knew it. I felt sure of my conversation and knew I could talk to anyone without fear of inadequacy. I walked with confidence and pride. And I did it completely sober. I don't need a stiff drink for courage. My own intelligence and ability was enough. 

I am so proud of myself and I think it shows. I've never been complimented as much as I was on Saturday. I've never felt more beautiful both physically and mentally. I've never felt so accomplished and talented - so appreciated. I am still floating on a high. I feel valued and empowered and know that I really am worth something. I never thought I could feel like this, especially from something like this...I am used to false confidence and feeling beautiful from copious amounts of cocktails, not natural energy and true accomplishment. It's a great fucking feeling!! 

I looked back at pictures of myself from the party and don't want to delete them like I normally do. I look strong and confident. I feel beautiful. I feel pride in my competence and success and it shows. I feel like this was the start of a new me. 

You all better watch out - I'm going to take over the world... :)