It seems like right now everyone around me has something they are dealing with; family drama, relationship issues, weight loss struggles, decisions about where to live... But it's not happening to me and unfortunately I can't solve these problems.
I wish I could snap my fingers and make my friends family realize how lucky the are to have each other and then BAM problem solved. Or I could clap my hands and magically a job would appear for my friends husband so they wouldn't have to leave LA. If only I could blink an eye and everyone I know in unhealthy, codependent relationships would have the clarity and courage to move on. If only I was a genie with endless wishes to grant!
I hate seeing people I love hurting or struggling. I don't want to see them fighting for a happy life - they deserve to only know happiness.
I usually close myself off to friends as a way of protecting myself. I typically don't allow myself to open up enough to connect; to feel love for my friends; to allow them to love me back and really know who I am. I am afraid they will leave as so many have before. I'm afraid of the friendship coming to a close and having to start all over; back to square one and full of distrust.
I'm not doing that anymore. I love my friends for the unique individuals they are and I learn so much from each and every one of them. They may be here for a year or for the long haul, and either way I won't change how I feel or act. And I won't stop reaching out or being there to go the extra mile. You're in my life got a reason and that is worth a hell of a lot to me.
If I were a genie I would make every ones issues disappear. We would all be successful in life and love. Since I am not, I can only promise to be there for the ones I love as a confidant, shoulder to cry on, getaway driver, accomplice - a true friend.
But I'd prefer if no one left, thanks! ;)
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