Here's to Ya!

Facebook and I have a love hate relationship. I think social media is important, especially given my profession, and is a great way for people to get news and targeted information, but it also illicits insecurity and sadness for some people. Relationships have been ruined because of jealousy or infidelity spurred from Facebook and other social media.  Friendships have been destroyed as well. The simple act of being de-friended is enough to make someone feel rejection and sadness.

What got me thinking about this is being on Facebook tonight when I was taking a break from writing a chapter in my professional portfolio. I logged on to Facebook and started reading the news feed and got to thinking about some of the old friends my ex and I used to spend time with. Wondering how some people were doing I decided to look them up in my friends list.  To my surprise a good amount of friends that I knew from when I was married had unfriended me. Some of these people had me in their wedding. One of them was my own father in law!

I know I am moving on and can't expect people to remain friends with me when their loyalty is to my ex, especially if they were friends with him before he and I met.  But it is hard to accept that all the time we spent cultivating a friendship was just so easy to dispose of. My ex father in law was the one that hurt the most. It's as if I and our marriage didn't exist. Granted, my ex father in law and I never had a strong,  close relationship, but it seems so harsh and cold to unfriend me from a social media site that is the only way we kept in contact frequently in the past. 

Seeing other people I know go through divorce and face the splitting of family, I knew this was inevitability. You just can't really prepare for how it makes you feel.  I didn't think I would honestly be bothered by this as much as I am. It's not marriage that I am mourning with this Facebook situation. It is the loss of all the other relationships and friendships I had cultivated while married that I am saddened over. 

This year's theme is starting over. It's been a rough year and I am positive it will be difficult for a while when these type of new situations come up.

The difference between this week and last is huge. While I am sad to find out that so many people have decided to no longer maintain a friendship or relationship with me, I am not debilitated by it. I am trying to approach it all with understanding and respect for their choices. I will truly miss many of them and wish them all the best things in life. 

Every step of the way through this change I am learning about myself in some way. Here's to moving on and starting over.  To new friends and making family out of those who you love.  To great memories that I will always cherish. 

Here's to ya! (A phrase often said by my former father in law.)