My friend posted a link on Facebook to an article by Mark
Manson, blogger and former professional dating coach for men. Since 2013 Mark
Manson has written about gender relations, life purpose, ambition and motivation,
cultural issues, personal happiness, etc. The link posted by my friend today
was focused on life purpose, titled 7
Strange Questions That Help You Find Your Life Purpose which you can read
here: http://markmanson.net/life-purpose.
Manson brings up an interesting topic and something that is
often on my mind. What are were here to do? Do we have a purpose? It’s such a
difficult question to answer, and impossible to answer with any certainty. According
to Manson, there are seven questions we should be asking ourselves in order to
figure out the purpose of our existence.
Something he mentions in the first question is very true. “Everything
sucks, some of the time.” This is not to say that there is something necessarily
negative to every job or situation we are involved in throughout our lives, but
rather there are difficulties and challenges with everything we do. There are
parts of our jobs we are not going to be thrilled about or excited to perform.
There are moments we will experience that are less pleasant or even painful to
handle, but they are just momentary and pass. And the joy we once experience
will return. I look at this and think that it is very liberating to accept that
this is just fact and then move forward to finding the job or project that
makes you the most happy. I know so many people who are good a myriad of things
and have varying strengths and weaknesses professionally. They seem to always
be searching for the “perfect job” where they will be continuously fulfilled,
never bored, and have just the right amount of growth opportunities. I don’t
think that exists. I do not think that there will ever be the “perfect”
anything out there, be it a job, friendship, marriage, boyfriend, girlfriend,
parental relationship, etc. Perfect, along with the word should, needs to be
wiped out of the dictionary. They are units of measure that are simply
impossibility that set us up for failure and self-judgment.
Another part of Manson’s article that struck a chord with me
was remembering the things we loved as children that made us forget about the
rest of the world around us. I recall being a child and sitting at my little
desk in my room drawing pictures and painting for hours. I would completely
lose track of time and be engrossed in my picture of a bouquet of flowers or a
horse running in a field. I would follow the lines of my pencil on my paper and
disappear into my own imagination, and nothing else would matter. I haven’t felt
a passion for a hobby or had the ability to detach and do something I truly
love with the same amount of spirit in years. I have forgotten how to love something
that much with such strong passion. I think as adults we all have lost this spirit
and it is so important to find it again and feel a connection to something
besides overworking, watching television and sleeping, which seem to be the
main activities people my age participate in with regularity these days.
Manson’s last two questions, if you had to leave the house all day, every day, where would you go
and what would you do? and if you knew
you were going to die one year from today, what would you do and how would you
want to be remembered? I believe are the most important questions we should
ask ourselves. Personally, if I was forced to leave my house every day and not
go to some coffee shop to waste my time Facebook stalking and compulsively
checking the news feed, I would go hiking and volunteer my time at several
animal shelters I’ve worked with in the past. For me, this goes hand in hand
with the last question. The legacy I’d like to leave is that I did my part to
help others, especially animals who are voiceless and cannot stand up for
themselves when they are neglected, abused, or uncared for.
If I were to die
within a year of today I would like to be remembered for loving the life I
lived, even with the pain and loss I’ve suffered, for experiencing life and
trying new things, being brave and adventurous, and having a kind, nurturing
spirit. I would spend my time hiking, appreciating the stability of the hardened
soil beneath my feet, the oxygen in my lungs from the trees around me and the
warmth on my back from the sun above. I would spend my time giving back to
those who cannot help themselves and leave a mark on the earth that I made a
difference, even if it were only to a few.
I have had one hell of a year, with so much change and WAY
too many tears shed. I have a very intense therapy session to attend tonight
that scares me when I think about what I will uncover, but it also motivates me
to really dig deep into what this article says and the life I am living versus
the life I want to have. I am trying this new thing called thinking positively,
and in doing so I am looking at my life from here on out as a fresh start. A
new time to reinvent myself and rediscover the things I am passionate about. It
is my time to build my friendships and find love and happiness and someone out
there who compliments my attributes and shares the same goals. It is my time to
work hard and grow professionally, take risks and build confidence. Yes, there
has been a tremendous amount of loss, but there are also great things coming up
on the horizon. Everything sucks, some of the time. It is true and accepting
that is half the battle.
L’Chaim.
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