Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Up All Night

12 am - the first time I was wide awake. I opened my eyes in a panic that I was late for work. It took me 10 minutes to fall back to sleep.

2:45 am - the second time I woke up. This one was a result of a disappointing dream. It involved someone giving up on me and losing another person I care for. It was definitely a result of my own insecurities and the fact that I want to spend time with someone I don't get to see enough. I tend to feel like if I don't get time with people it must be a result of something I did or they don't enjoy my company. It's all insecurity as a result of how I view myself. I finally fell back to sleep a half hour later. 

4:10 am - the third time I was awake. This time there was no real reason. I just opened my eyes and couldn't sleep. I was anxious and nervous. I don't think I really fell asleep again after this.

It's now 5:57 am and I've already showered and had a cup of coffee. I hope to be able to prove my dream wrong and have a good day today without feeling bad. I hope this anxiousness subsides and I can express myself to those I need to when I ask for some of their time. 

Someone told me recently that the mind listens to what we say. I need to remember to be positive and tell myself only good things. I can get through this just like I've gotten through all the rest that has come my way. I will be able to say what I need. I will be great. 


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