Rules of Conversation

There are certain things that in my opinion that should be a standard in every one's behavior. Certain ways of acting in public towards others that is kind and respectful. These standards should be universal and not debatable or subject to interpretation. Please note that no names will be used in examples provided or situations described. You can use your imagination and insert any character into the roles portrayed.

First, one should never say something that mocks or insults a person’s lunch. For example, one shouldn't say "you really shouldn't eat processed food like that. You’re never going to lose weight eating that." Or "you are really going to eat that for lunch?" It is incredibly rude and makes people feel like they should go eat in a corner, away from those offended by the lunch selection. Why do they even give a shit what I'm eating for lunch? It's my stomach digesting my processed food and my body that is affected by my choice. Get a life!

Second, one should refrain from making snarky comments that are intended to be digs or pot shots. Everyone has something they are displeased with or bothered by, but if no one asks for your opinion, it is best not to share it. An example of this distasteful behavior would be a situation like this… Let’s say you go into the communal kitchen every day and have to clean up and put away the used blender that is taking up the entire sink. While you are struggling to clean this nasty blender full of smoothie remnants someone walks over to you and says, “oh that is so-and-so who left that in there. We were shaking today…” casually like it is no big deal. To which you reply, “so-and-so should clean it and put it back so everyone can use the sink to wash their dishes.” I would consider this replay a normal and polite way of asking someone to be a responsible adult and clean up their mess. Now here comes the rude part…after listening to the reply, this person then walks down the hall to the so-and-so responsible for making the mess and says loud enough for you to hear “so-and-so, you better clean up the blender after you use it or you’ll be in trouble.” I would expect a catty teenage girl to act like this but an adult should know better. Starting trouble or stirring the pot is not a hobby and just makes a person look like they are without any manners, good upbringing or respect. 

Third, one should never think that their pictures from their weekend hike or their story about current events is more important that what another person is saying. Everyone has a right to talk and a conversation is made up of two equal parts; speaking and listening. Neither are optional and one should not be done more than the other. Both equal. For example, if two people are conversing about their weekend while waiting for their food to heat up, it is never acceptable for you to shove your phone in their face rudely interrupting the conversation being had just to show how beautiful the weather was for your hike. Not only do I most likely not care about how clear the sky was, but it is extremely disrespectful to barge in and change the subject. It is a self-centered mindset to think that what you have to say is more important than what someone else is currently talking about. Like you should have been taught as a child, sit patiently and wait your turn. 

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, stop publicly complaining! Do not share with the world how displeased you are about the way things have changed. Do not make it a habit of always talking about how miserable you are, how you aren’t getting enough of this or how you’ve been let down by that. To the perpetual complainer, the Debby Downer, the old Kvetch, I say it is what it is and if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

I just want to sit and eat my crappy, processed lunch that will probably make me even fatter before I have to wash my dishes as well as other people's dishes while having a conversation with someone which will probably get interrupted by someone trying to show me pictures of their beautiful day in Malibu that I don’t even care about because I ain’t got time for that!